“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” Robert Muller
If ‘to forgive’ is divine, why is it so hard for us to do? Much of your ability to forgive depends on your own emotional state of being. How you feel about yourself and your ability to express ‘ugly’ feelings, such as anger and sadness, play a role in how good you are at forgiving.
This is often a reflection of your childhood. Women who grow up in a family where ‘mistakes’ and ‘transgressions’ are acknowledged and excused can reveal their hurt, pain, anger, regret, and sorrow... and then move on. In contrast, women who grow up in a household where grudges are held for a long time often unwittingly carry these traditions into their adult lives. They are afraid to reveal their emotions and so the feelings fester. They don’t forget or forgive.
The ability to forgive is not just a virtue; it is a practical tool that can help you preserve your physical and mental health through everything from a traffic dispute to relationship infidelity. The better we understand that we can be forgiven, the better we can forgive others.
When we are hurt emotionally, we are hurt not just in our minds but also in our bodies. The more we cling to anger or hurt, the more our bodies secrete ‘stress chemicals’ that, over time, take a physical toll. Worst of all, though, the inability to forgive can distract us from the positive aspects of our lives.
If you are focused on things that disturb you or that make you feel tense or uncomfortable, what it really does is rob you of your joy. Therefore, perhaps the most important part of your ability to forgive is your sense of responsibility for your own life and relationships. That’s not to say that you deserve any mistreatment that makes you angry or hurt. It means that there are very few times that you will be a completely ‘innocent’ victim and that holding on to anger is a choice, not a commandment.
If you are able to really look at yourself, you will almost always see ways in which you contributed to the problem or conflict, even if it was in a small way. It’s this awareness that is the source of forgiveness.
Robert Muller, dubbed the ‘philosopher’ of the United Nations during his tenure as Under-Secretary General, said, “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”... Now that’s iWoman thinking.
The iFactor series of books are the only books in the world that have a journal and action planner all in one. The iFactor For Women is an inspirational book that move you to positive change.
