A Matter Of Responsibility

As parents/guardians, we want our children to grow up to be happy, successful and responsible adults.

If we believe the negative reports about young people in the media, we may wonder what the chances are. You may have concerns about your own children lagging in school, getting into trouble or clashing with family. Maybe you see history repeating itself in some ways: young people wasting time and opportunities as they learn painful life lessons and progress to adulthood.

Successfully making the transition from childhood towards independence requires young people to take responsibility for themselves and their actions. In the past, this was usually a matter of unguided experimentation. You may recall your own parents and teachers demanding respect and responsibility, perhaps imposing it by means of threats and punishment (probably with limited success). In time, by trial and especially error, and by learning from peers, some sense of responsibility emerges.

Today, nurturing a sense of responsibility in young people should never be left to chance. Teaching responsibility – for self and others – is a life skill that can be taught in a structured way, just like maths and English. If you have the right tools. From an early age young people can learn constructive responses to challenges in a way that empowers them to be able to realistically evaluate risk, anticipate the effects of their behaviour and plan ahead.

Young people who have mastered responsibility will have a greater sense of being able to direct their own lives. That in turn frees them to consider the needs and feelings of others, as they discover how their actions really do matter and make a difference in society.

It’s especially hard to convey to young people that their own choices (such as whether to work hard to achieve at school) can have long-term consequences. It can even be tough to educate young people about the short-term effects of irresponsible behaviour. They may respect peer values and attitudes more than the hard-won experience of their parents, which may seem to emanate from another world.

The Seven Principles of RESPECTisms is a resource for parents that recognises that developing responsibility takes place in the context of young people’s own experiences, perceptions and values, rather than those of the older generation. It uses stories and scenarios that young people recognise and relate to. That encourages them to use imagination to visualise their options and anticipate the effects of their behaviour. One young reader said “It has changed my outlook on life, making me think about the choices I make and how I view situations”. A teenager summed up The Seven Principles of RESPECTisms as follows: “The stories…couldn’t relate more to my life as a young person”.

Stories and drama pack a punch because all audiences, irrespective of their educational level, identify emotionally with characters and events and internalise the messages. We’ve all read books or seen films that we feel have truly changed us. There are few more effective ways to teach crucial life lessons.

The story of Robert relates his life journey. He learns that being responsible can save him (and others) from a whole lot of trouble. He discovers that the consequences of messing up are not an unfair punishment meted out by a hostile world. The power to smooth his passage in life was within his grasp, but he had not yet learned how and why to use it.

Parents can use The Seven Principles of RESPECTisms to grow a sense of responsibility in their children and as a behaviour management tool. As a corrective measure, it can help young people understand how they have set themselves up for negative outcomes. It helps provide skills for young people to protect themselves from such consequences in the future and to take command of their lives. With greater awareness of how their decisions and actions matter, and affect others, young people find that their relationships with family and friends are greatly enhanced.

Parents, teachers and, most importantly, young people themselves are enthusiastic about the effectiveness of this approach and The Seven Principles of RESPECTisms, which includes reading and audio materials as well as fun workbooks.

Working with parents and schools, The Seven Principles of RESPECTisms strives to develop a generation of young people of good character who will become responsible and positive individuals.

By Ken Barnes