We Don't See The World As It Is.

“We don't see the world as it is. We see the world as we are.”

In other words, a young person’s attitude to the world is filtered through his or her own sense of self.  Young people with low expectations of themselves are less likely to achieve at school. Young people who doubt that the world has anything much to offer them are more likely to stumble their way through life instead of determining their own direction.

Parents and guardians can help young people realistically assess their potential and the possibilities that today’s world can provide. It is ultimately little different from teaching them to ride a bike or read a map. In fact, it is very similar to navigation: giving young people the resources to assess which path they are on, the road they wish to follow and the equipment and resolve they need to reach their destination.

Fostering these skills is not a matter of issuing instructions and directions. Even if there were a map, young people would be lost without the ability to read it and visualise their route. Parents and guardians can play a key role in helping those in their care to see the terrain they must navigate and to ensure they are fit for the journey.

The Seven Principles of RESPECTisms offers young people seven role models of their own age, whose dilemmas and decisions they can relate to. Emma is a troubled young woman with low self-esteem and therefore low expectations of herself. She feels ‘ugly’ and sometimes acts accordingly. Her guardians, knowing that she has suffered terrible loss in her young life, never push her. But Emma doesn’t push herself. With little self-belief, she cannot see the point.

It takes a schoolmate’s comment – that “we see the world as we are” – for Emma to make the connection and take charge. Acknowledging the role her own attitude and expectations play allows her to make more realistic and responsible decisions about her prospects and her future.

Some parents urge their children to set their expectations high, so that their generation can capitalise on the opportunities their elders lacked. Others set bars discouragingly high, perhaps so high that learners feel overwhelmed. Some, like Emma’s guardians, unwittingly fail to provide the support and guidance that young people may need to set goals and understand how their outlook and decisions affect their lives (and often those of others too). After buying the book for his teenagers, a father wrote that The Seven Principles of RESPECTisms “is truly a book for all the family”.

The subtle lessons in The Seven Principles of RESPECTisms help parents to illustrate to young people the benefits of taking responsibility for themselves. Parents and guardians too may face a learning curve in this regard. They may need to step up to the plate or step back. Emma’s story, as well as other stories in the book, demonstrate that self-belief and insight are key skills that young people can learn to exercise.

These lessons are designed to help them achieve what they want, not just what carers and teachers may tell them they should want. Motivation, by definition, requires a desirable and rewarding goal.

By Ken Barnes